Helen is an expatriated Northerner living in the wilds of Bounds Green. Her sense of whimsical cynicism and misanthropic nature makes her the perfect candidate for being an out-of-work journalist. Despite being told otherwise as a small child, she always says yes to strangers. She misses Lucky Charms, Patrick from Casualty and Cadbury’s Fuses. She currently holds a GCSE in Contemporary Dance. True Story.
12
Mar
2010
Holby Shitty – Part 2
There were moans coming from behind curtains and tired-looking nurses shuffling their plimsoles across the linoleum
6
Mar
2010
Holby Shitty – Part 1
Whilst Dettol Mould & Mildew Remover may be spectacularly effective at cleaning, it’s not so great when it lands in your eye
3
Dec
2009
Bah Humbug!
It’s time to start honing the Yuletide gag reflex to perfection for the inevitable force-feeding of festive cheer down our throats
18
Nov
2009
Welcome to The Hotel Helifornia
Since I moved to London, I’ve suddenly become far more popular then I ever have been
4
Nov
2009
London: Pure Filth
Just before I moved to London, I noticed my northern brethren fitted into one of two camps
31
Jul
2009
Trafalgar Square’s Fourth Plinth
I can’t help but feel it’s a bit of a cop-out in the artistic stakes
