Modern Toss at the Imitate Gallery

The first time that I swore was when I was four years old. And I had no idea that I had done it. I was watching a junior version of Blockbusters and after a question had been asked, I jumped in before the contestant with my answer of ‘duck’. However, I had erred and the correct answer was in fact ‘fish’. You may already be ahead of the final conclusion, but for some reason, I combined the two words to produce a new entry to my vocabulary.

It would have been all right if I had kept this new found treasure to myself. But I decided to let my parents, my sister and a visiting neighbour in on my new discovery. The resulting exclamation got me sent to bed early and I spent the rest of the night wondering why I hadn’t said ‘dish’.

We are constantly told that swearing is neither big nor clever. And for the most part I agree. But it can be done with grace and panache, smashing the pretensions of morons and calling out the behaviour of dickheads. It can be merited by the sheer hell of existence, the banal parade of inanities we call life, that endless series of excruciating disappointments which leaves us no choice but to exclaim, ‘Fuck this!’

If you’re looking for an antidote to the festive period with saccharine cheer and the endless playing of The Fairytale of New York, make some time for the Modern Toss Seasonal Blowout, an exhibition featuring some of the recurring characters from the books and TV series, such as Mr Tourette, Drive-by Abuser and Cheese and Wine.

Some of the exhibits can be a little lazy with the use of profanities getting on to be a little boorish. Having Piers Morgan featured on the front cover of a coffee table book entitled ‘Britain’s Biggest Cunts’ is amusing the first time you see it but is hardly the most original of premises.

However, cursing takes on a whole different dimension in the case of the Periodic Table of Swearing, a fully interactive exhibit. The result is as if the Science Museum was being curated by Gordon Ramsay. Every single swearword you can imagine is here along with phrases that will stick in your head for a long time. Examples include ‘Stink Like a Piss Ceefax’ and ‘Acting Like a Cock Snack on Plant Food’, both of which I have no idea what they mean. Yet they reduced the assembled crowd in the gallery to tittering schoolboys and schoolgirls.

Modern Toss Seasonal Blowout runs until December 18 at:

Imitate Gallery
27a Devonshire Street
Marylebone
W1G 6PN

Tel: 020 7486 9927

Image by Modern Toss