The Night Chauffeur

Stella Artois: the gap between the image it projects and the one it’s associated with could span the Channel Tunnel. But you can’t help but feel slightly sorry for the brand, as somewhere along the line it got derailed into becoming the unofficial sponsor of Rowdy England.

Still, thankfully Stella has a lot of marketing cash to throw around and over the years has been working tirelessly to remind us that it is indeed a classy, ‘reassuringly expensive’ beverage not ‘reassuringly strong’ lout juice. The Night Chauffer is its latest attempt to do just that.

An evening of immersive theatre set in The Peasant, Clerkenwell. The backdrop is French Noir (because it’s launching a new Stella Artois Black beer, see). This is just a preview of the full experience soon to be launched in pubs serving the new Stella Artois Black on draught throughout London, but still amounts to a fun, if not slightly confusing, night.

Beautiful femme fatale-types line the wall talking to sinister men in suits to the sound of gently hissing snare drums. I’m supposed to approach these people to discover the mystery. All I know is that part of the experience involves getting taken in a car and driven around the streets, but it seems no one will help me find out how.

I start speaking to Sophie, the fortune teller, who tells me she has been waiting a long time to see me, she then picks up my bag and shoves a brown package into it: ‘I ‘ave somezing for you’. She then instructs me to go down to the cellar where a man is waiting for me. After depositing the goods to the intimidating mafia man in the basement I’m given a black flower, booted upstairs, left none the wiser and still without my ride.

Suddenly there’s a slapping sound. The guy I had assumed was just the bouncer has been hit across the face by a woman wearing a red mini dress, who then runs up the stairwell. I wait for her to emerge and ask if she’s ok. ‘No. My ‘usband is waiting outside in a car to take me away and zis – my lover (she points) – won’t let me leave.’ Thinking this could be my chance to get in the car I agree to smuggle her across the room. But she quickly disappears.

Having had a couple of free beers by now I’m confident I can still solve the mystery of the car. After asking around I’m told I need to acquire a black envelope to embark on the mysterious journey. Getting into the mood of things I sidle up to a smartly dressed guy who is looking pretty shifty, lower my eyes, and ask if he’s got something he wants to show me. He shoots back a quizzical look. ‘Not really’. He’s not an actor. Time to give up on finding the car and get another drink.

Credit where it’s due, this is a pretty cool concept and it is executed well. But there’s something about the evening’s fragmented storyline, elusive journey and humiliation in front of a total stranger that feels strangely familiar…perhaps this isn’t that different from a night out on Stella after all…

Book your ride with The Night Chauffeur at 10 selected bars around London throughout November:

14 November: Village East

15 November: The Peasant

16 November: The Old Blue Last

17  November: The Westbourne

18 November: The Chamberlayne

21 November: The Dove

­­­­­­22 November: The Black Dog

23 November: Grand Union

24  November: The Ten Bells

25 November: The Old Goat.

For full details visit: www.stellaartoisblack.com