Soho’s Third Space

Trendy. Hip. Buzzing. Fit women. Everything you want when you find a new bar to frequent in the capital. Yes, everything. But a gym? Or premier health and fitness club I should say. A tad unnecessary, no?

Smack bang in the middle of Soho sits The Third Space in all its braggadocio; a suitably silly sounding word for a suitably pointless extravagance. Don’t get me wrong, the place, or space is a work of art. Spanning three levels separated by glass flooring you have everything you need from a health club; swimming pool, spinning area, pilates studio, there’s even a climbing wall. With motivational music pumping out, it is coolness personified. And if that isn’t enough, it has its own suped-up medical centre too offering MOT health checks amongst other things to save you the hassle of doctor’s appointments.

The health MOT is £75 for members, £100 for non-members. Presuming this to be a glorified visit to the doctor, I was skeptical. For a fraction of the cost of similar tests available on Harley Street, you find out your height and weight, get your blood pressure tested, get to blow down a tube to test your lungs are working and even pee in a pot to check blood glucose levels. You also get your body fat measured along with your waist/hip circumference, get your blood checked and, intriguingly, you have a photo analysis of your tongue which takes its cue from ancient Chinese medicine.

Fusing orthodox and complementary medicine, The Third Space is one of the only medical centres in the country, let alone London, to provide such a comprehensive range of treatments from both disciplines available to members and non-members alike.

Dr Asher, one of only ten doctors in the UK to have trained in homeopathy, took me through a tour of my family’s medical history, while regaling me with stories of his fantastically fat cat. His diagnosis of me as a lean athlete with only eight per cent body fat and a fully functioning body did somewhat soften the blow, but was hardly mind-blowing.

So with all these positives conceded, why did I leave thinking The Third Space was as much of an embarrassment as Jacqui Smith’s porno watching husband? £118 a month that’s why. And I’m not still talking about the Home Secretary expensing pornography. For such a considerable amount of money, I’d seriously query anyone’s decision to become a member of TTS. Why? Need you ask.

To be fair, for that price you get more than just a bog standard gym membership. Not only do you have access to the most fancy fitness facilities in London, including an ozone treated swimming pool, an hypoxic chamber and a full size boxing ring, you also get to train with some of the best personal trainers in the capital, many of whom are former athletes. New members also receive £150 of vouchers when they join which can be spent on bi-monthly sessions with a personal trainer. The idea being members remain motivated and visit The Third Space regularly.

There’s a gym next door to mine. Slightly backward, it’s still advertising the ‘last minute’ summer ’08 offer of £15.99 a month. All the same it has everything you need a gym to have; nothing more, nothing less. I’m not a member but three of my housemates are; one of which hasn’t been since September, one who’s been a grand total of nine times since August and the other (a she) who goes whenever a Liverpool Champions League match is on TV, so slightly more often. The relevance of my housemates’ fleeting attendances being…?

Not one for statistics I’m sure I wouldn’t be far off saying circa two in five 20-something-Londoners is a member of a gym. And of that percentage, housemates included, more than half go to said establishment less than once a month amassing in a fuckload of calories not being worked off and an even greater amount of pounds and pence being wasted. My point being gym memberships are, generally speaking, counterproductive.

The Third Space has done little wrong to deserve such a scathing review. In fact it’s somewhat bore the brunt of a perennial problem with gyms as a whole. That said it is a prime example of the outlandish luxuries Londoners can ill afford at the moment.

The Third Space
13 Sherwood Street
Soho
W1F 7BR