London School of Attraction Coaching

After too many years of a dating repertoire populated by strangers, tequila and Dalston (often a combination of the three), I decided there was only so long I could continue to exist within the self-perpetuating, and self-deprecating, cycle that was my ill-fated love life. I needed to take action. So when I was invited to attend the London School of Attraction’s dating coaching session, the icy demeanour temporarily melted to inform me that I would be a hard hearted fool to decline.

Ever the pessimist when it comes to love (see aforementioned strangers-tequila-Dalston algorithm), I was admittedly hesitant as I arrived at the central London bar to meet my dating coach, Alex Chubb, one of the founders. Established in 2010 by Alex and Doug Haines, the London School of Attraction was developed to help men and women of all ages and backgrounds develop confidence when it comes to attracting the opposite sex.

Living in a city of over 6 million people, it would be no exaggeration to say that finding that ‘special someone’ in London, beyond the rutting of east London or ill advised night bus companions of Camden, is difficult. But what makes it even more problematic is when we are scared to take our love life into our own hands and approach the people we actually like. A simple idea, yes. You like someone, you go and say ‘hi’. But, and obviously I can only speak for myself here, I have never approached a guy. Yet in the same breath I can frequently be heard raging in frustration over the creeps and, frankly, ridiculous men who have approached me. Considering this, the London School of Attraction’s ethos started to make more sense.

Offering one-on-one and weekend coaching sessions for men and women, the London School of Attraction teaches the necessary skills to approach, converse with, and ultimately attract the object of your affection, all while putting them – and you – at ease. I was lucky enough to get the one-on-one treatment. During our session, Alex runs through the LSA course structure, covering everything from how to make that all important initial approach and subtle flirtation to text etiquette and online dating profile optimisation, in a little over 90 minutes. Probably not much shorter than some of my recent relationships…

Such witty quips (ahem) are clearly not doing me any favours when it comes to attracting men – Alex almost immediately picked up that sarcasm is my go-to conversation tactic. And defence mechanism. But as someone who has lots of male friends, talking to men has never really been a problem; I am astutely told that the problem is acknowledging and accepting compliments and indeed, advances. My oh-so-original predilection for ‘bad-boys’ comes from the simple fact that these are the confident boys, they’re the ones who will make the approach, irreverent to the fact that they might get knocked back. The nice boys are the ones sitting on their hands in the background, hesitating and fretting, until the girl they like leaves with the guy with the tattoos and the leather. Considering this, who are we to complain if the one we want leaves – or indeed, we leave with the one we don’t really want! – if we are just going to sit in the corner and let opportunity pass us by.

I’ve never been one to enjoy talking about ‘feelings’ or my love life beyond the realms of abject comedy, so it was surprising how quickly Alex was able to put me at ease in what for me was admittedly a rather alien situation. Debunking the myths that plague the singleton in today’s dating world – always wait three days before texting back, if their leg points at you you’re in, never sleep with someone on a first date – there is something to be said for the frank and honest approach Alex and Doug have adopted. We’re not talking handouts of cheesy chat-up lines or helping you choreograph elaborate rituals of hair twiddling, lip biting and peacocking in the bars of London (further reading: The Game by Neil Strauss) – it’s about keeping things simple. After all, a few home truths from a stranger might just be the best way to revive your dating confidence and start you on your way to finding love in London.

And believe me – love does not reside in The Dolphin.

Find out more about coaching courses at the London School of Attraction on their website.

You can also read some of Doug and Alex’s words of dating wisdom for men and women on the London School of Attraction blog.

Image by mortenhelland courtesy of Flickr