British Library Etiquette

As it is wont to do around this time every year, spring has come again. For some this means new fashion fresh off the catwalk, for others the lustful hint of summer peeping round the corner. For many, however, spring means one thing only: panic.

As soon as that spatter of yellow daffodils emerges, I – like many other students – realise that my procrastination efforts have been successful and I have only a matter of weeks to learn a year’s syllabus. At times like these there is just one saving grace. God bless London’s British Library.

At first, the wonders that await inside may not be obvious. Halfway between Euston and King’s Cross, the British Library materialises like a red-brick palace looming out of a pop-up book. The security guard takes a nonchalant glance at your bag before nodding you through with a wink. You head for the locker room, and then the magic begins.

That is, if you can find it. The half-floors and winding corridors of the British Library could give Hogwarts’ staircases a run for their money. I swear the locker room is in a different place each time. I usually start my search for it in the gift shop – you know, just in case.

Once all your belongings are in a transparent, library-branded carrier bag, at the cost of a refundable £1, you’re ready to enter the Reading Room. Brace yourself.

At the door you are required to show your membership card. You should flash this at the security guards with a half-smile and an air of confidence, as if it is your divine right to be in the Reading Room. Which it is, if you have a valid card.

Once you’ve ordered your books, you have an hour’s wait before they appear, having been summoned from the murky depths of the library’s cellars where they have been gathering dust for decades. Use this time wisely to stare at the people around you and cleverly hide your pens from the Big Brother Pen Police who acrimoniously patrol the ranks, looking to confiscate inky stationery.

Other Reading Room Rules include leaving the room roughly every half an hour to stretch your legs, buy a coffee, make a phone call (delete as appropriate) and only coughing when someone else does, thereby giving the whole room permission to expunge phlegm simultaneously.

The one flaw of the British Library experience? By the time you’ve done all of the above, it’s a miracle if you manage to get any work done.

Image by REL Waldman courtesy of Flickr