Top Three Ways Londoner’s Say ‘No’
My bags were packed as I entered Montpellier airport one early September morning last year. Despite the darkness’ shift declining, the Mediterranean heat still proved mild, while the air remained fresh and crisp. Destined for my native London, the take-off of my Ryanair flight symbolised a premature end to my adventure working abroad. On arrival at Luton, the sky was grey, the temperature low and the mood down. At this point it dawned upon me, I was home.
Startled and disorientated, I soon blagged work as a chugger. A recurring trend was the obvious lack of humanity and tolerance among the commuting crowd towards other human beings. Appearing as a militia of identical robots, they march briskly to the same beat of the mass consumerist drum. To them quality of life is determined not by happy memories and tall tales, but by the acquisition of pointless gadgetry and the never-ending quest to upstage Dave in accounts.
Anyone or anything that breaks the mould, causing a barricade will be met with a tirade of terrible excuses and an extreme urgency to avoid social interaction. While such a peculiar lack of honesty and general rudeness will shock outsiders, the lack of originality among the sprinting suits offends me. Consequently, my compilation of the three most common variations of the word ‘no’ in London begins.
1. ‘I have one/do that already’ – Really? Not only are you unaware of my proposition towards you, but it remains semantically impossible to already have or do anything in response to ‘Hello Sir, how are you today?’ Therefore by verbalising this utterly ridiculous phrase, you also admit to possessing the comprehension and communicative skills of a blindfolded parrot. Other variations include declarations that their company ‘does that already’.
2. ‘I don’t have enough money’ – Most who proclaim this on a day-to-day basis often do have enough money. Surely if you don’t have £3 to spare monthly, then owning an iPhone, designer clothes and a BMW seems ridiculous. The fact of the matter is that you can afford it; rather you choose to spend that money elsewhere. In which case, why beat around the bush?
3. ‘I don’t have time’ – Maybe so. After all, London is a busy metropolis housing millions of people. So this excuse proves adequate and reasonable when the speaker is sprinting faster than Usain Bolt toward Charing Cross station. However when the aforementioned person decides to play this ace, before immediately veering off into Starbucks for a coffee, clearly this phrase actually carries little meaning.
If you have little time to smile and say you’re not interested politely, then god help you in your personal life. Just imagine what else you won’t have time for…
Image by Marc Falardeau courtesy of Flickr
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I’m so angry i could burst. Obviously not the target audience for this marvellously condescending, passive-aggressive little whine. And neatly sums up why chuggers are such a frequent annoyance.
Firstly, ‘excuse’? Sorry, please remind me again exactly what obligation there is for us to do what you want us to? The idea of freedom of choice seems to have been forgotten by the writer.
As for your demands for smiles and friendly interaction, it’s precisely those kind of overly forced attempts at bonhomie and conversation, simply to try to lure someone into standing still to endure whatever verbal barrage they wish to unleash, that helps put me off speaking to a lot of ‘clipboards'(that or the fact i “do that one already”, despite your rather weak attempt to undermine this notion, and therefore really have no desire to waste 10 minutes of my life learning about an organisation i already know and financially support the work of thus will not be signing up for anything more).
If life amongst us ‘drones’ is so unpleasant Mike, i strongly suggest you return to the apparent idylls of Montpellier toot sweet, for the benefit of everyone con concerned.
I strongly agree with Soapy’s comment. Good luck becoming an “awesome journalist” with this whiny, self-indulgent rubbish.
Right Soapy, time to settle your angsty little comment here.
Chuggers can indeed be very annoying, especially when they push too hard. I for one did not believe in pushing beyond no, because I believe in a person’s freedom of choice. I cannot speak for others in this ‘profession’.
The use of the word excuse has been used as there is no reason to lie to a stranger in the street. Just a simple no thank you would be adequate. As for freedom of choice, there is a choice. Option A is to engage in a meaningful conversation, and option B is to politely decline. Obviously a large population of Londoners in the commuting crowd, such as yourself, are clearly cunts of the highest order and feel there is a need to insult or arrogantly lie to other people to make themselves feel superior. The fact is, all of the lies, arrogance and rudeness in the world will not hide the fact that you feel inferior to your peers and that you in fact are a flat out coward who revels in the displeasure caused to other people. You don’t like chuggers, fair enough. I can’t say I like them much either, especially after my company ripped me off (pending legal action). But who are you to slate their profession and ruin their day? They are people too, and if I went into your workplace and started insulting you, would you complain or at least feel bad? The answer is obviously yes. That job was not easy and its made worse by people like you.
In fact I will happily demonstrate how this feels any day of the week that you feel necessary if you think you’re Mister opinionated behind a keyboard.
I do wonder what career it is that you have Soapy. Do you even have a career? Or are you just an internet troll?
E, clearly a well thought out criticism here, how about a real opinion which is not copied from someone else. In fact coming to think of it, you would make a great tabloid journalist with that skill.
I come from another country, I am a londoner since one year already.
I highly suggest to who posted a comment to this article to make an auto-analysis of the human behave, and probably buying a ticket to see another country (any other country) and learn how the behaviour changes the way life goes.
in my country asking “how are you sir” or wishing somebody a good day is called “education” and is not seen as a crime or an attempt to have sexual violence to anybody.
maybe try to LIVE a little bit this world, as london is famous for its multiculturality. and try to criticise less other people’s point of view. i’m not saying that everybody has to be nice and terribly invadent, world is amazing because of its differences. but next time try to see through other culture’s point of view, and open a littlebit more yours. best wishes for your lifes and goodnight to everybody.
and as last, from my point of view i prefer reading articles of people writing about life than rubbish gossip articles about how many children brad pitt and angelina jolie are having, or how any other celebrity are getting in troubles with law, etc, etc.. best wishes
Wow, Mike emerges from his cave at last!
Firstly, yes i do have a career thanks very much and i’m thankfully a lot further along in mine than you appear to be given your apparent talents and fantasy-like aspirations about becoming an “awesome journalist”.
The petty swipe about me being a troll is as laughably hollow as the original post; if anyone here is displaying the antagonistic, goading behaviour that breed are known for, its you.
Describing me as a cunt pretty much sums up the calibre of this article, your abilities and standing as a man. Whilst I’m tempted to rise to the bait and reciprocate, I think I’ll try my best to refrain and keep this at least moderately civilised. It would probably only give you a hard on anyway.
The sad thing is that in some ways, i actually ‘get’ what you were originally trying to say, albeit think that you expressed it in such a misguided and garbled way that any meaning or good will was immediately lost. I’m a supporter of charities and would always implore others to do likewise where possible. But, i’m also sick to the back teeth about being made to feel guilty (through articles such as this) because I might not want to do so at every opportunity, or engage with every person standing with a clipboard whom i encounter on the street. For those of us who work in busy city areas (yes Mike, I am one of them despite your cynicism), this can be a frequent occurrence. I do on occasion ‘politely decline’ if that helps satisfy your apparent fixation. Equally, I think it’s safe to say it a little overdramatic to suggest its going to ruin someone’s day if I don’t answer them facile asking of how I am when we both know they couldn’t give two shits about my well being.
I absolutely love your line about you being happy to “demonstrate how this feels any day of the week that you feel necessary if you think you’re Mister opinionated behind a keyboard.” When you’ve worked out precisely what this garbled nonsense means and what you actually intended to say, do let me know. (And, pray tell, how exactly do you propose to demonstrate this?).
Oh and do you see any irony at all in braying about me being a Mr Opinionated behind a keyboard after writing a post and comments such as your’s?
So sorry to hear you were ripped off. Can’t even begin to wonder why it happened to you. Perhaps it’s because you’re a cunt of the highest order? (damn it, and I was doing so well too!)
Ok let’s stop this getting further into a bitchfest here.
But why do you say becoming a journalist is unrealistic? It’s not hard, as my time working for NewsQuest proved. Especially as press releases give you most information, and other leads are followed by simple calls and interviews. It’s not a hard career, just difficult due to competition and poor markets. Besides, that was the dream and I am relying upon teaching English to foreign students until this market recovers.
“The petty swipe about me being a troll is as laughably hollow as the original post; if anyone here is displaying the antagonistic, goading behaviour that breed are known for, its you.”
Is it really? Despite the fact you admit to getting my point, however you still fail to acknowledge that this rant is not about people giving to charity, but actually acting pleasantly and not acting aggressively, arrogantly or just lying to strangers in the street. When I did that work, I personally didn’t want your money. If you offered me money I would have rejected it, I was just doing my job. Furthermore, a job which I believed benefited a good cause. A job sourced immediately on returning to England to attend a family member’s funeral. Most people of my age in England would doss around on benefits and find nothing.
Whether or not people want to give to charity is their choice. I understand that people cannot afford it, and others choose not to for political and ethical reasons. That is fine with me. If you give to charity, that’s lovely. However being considerate to other people is generally better for humanity in my honest opinion. Especially in a city where everyone says sorry but doesn’t mean it. And you’re offended because I feel that people should respect people? Then you react to being called a cunt, and then return the favour for little justification. I’m sure most normal people would deem the one picking the argument with the one telling people to be considerate to others to be more favourable in this argument. Besides, the only way that English Londoners react to any kind of news or opinion is when it’s portrayed in a negative light. No wonder my train is always delayed due to suicides.
“Describing me as a cunt pretty much sums up the calibre of this article, your abilities and standing as a man. Whilst I’m tempted to rise to the bait and reciprocate, I think I’ll try my best to refrain and keep this at least moderately civilised. It would probably only give you a hard on anyway.”
See above, I think I was quite justified. I know that originally I said to respect others, but with a response like yours, it’s obvious that you’re far from a considerate person. I only hope that these are just your internet “manners”, otherwise I think your mum should have beaten some respect into you as a child.
“I’m a supporter of charities and would always implore others to do likewise where possible”
Whether this is a true in an active or passive way (if at all, and not just a defensive bluff which I find with most of your kind), that’s great. Again, not the focal point of this article, but clearly humanity still exists slightly in you. However, when someone in the street “implores” you to do so, you choose to respond negatively. Once again, you don’t need to donate or even stop, just smile and say “no thanks”. It’s honest and it’s friendly. Then you can get on with your life.
“But, i’m also sick to the back teeth about being made to feel guilty (through articles such as this) because I might not want to do so at every opportunity, or engage with every person standing with a clipboard whom i encounter on the street”
This article tells you none of these things other than to politely reject them. No need for a long conversation or handing over your details. Just smile and reject nicely. Is this so hard?
“Equally, I think it’s safe to say it a little overdramatic to suggest its going to ruin someone’s day if I don’t answer them facile asking of how I am when we both know they couldn’t give two shits about my well being.”
When you speak to hundreds, if not thousands of people per day. It actually does. At the end of the day, they might well give a shit, it’s just they have become tranced by rejections and rudeness. Those who do this work as a career are seriously hardy people. I have the most respect for them having been in their shoes for a few days. I can attempt to adapt this to your career in a certain scenario, without aiming to cause offence, what is your line of work? Also do you work for a large business or a smaller one?
“Oh and do you see any irony at all in braying about me being a Mr Opinionated behind a keyboard after writing a post and comments such as your’s?”
Well on most sites I write for, my opinions receive cash by direct debit. Let’s just say I can usually pay my car insurance with it, which isn’t bad considering I spend about 5 hours a week writing. I just decided to branch off from motoring for free here. Who pays for your honest opinion?
“So sorry to hear you were ripped off. Can’t even begin to wonder why it happened to you. Perhaps it’s because you’re a cunt of the highest order? (damn it, and I was doing so well too!)”
Wrong again. It was because my former employer fancied free labour, which required terminating all staff within the first week and failing to reimburse them for their time. After little help from the British Red Cross, whom I fundraised for, I am in talks with my next step with a legal advisor. Personally I will boycott a charity which allows this to happen to innocent people, despite their good will. Of course you have no obligation to conform or even agree. One man was formally on job seekers allowance and turned down a different job because he wanted to raise money for a worthy cause. Needless to say, he got the same treatment as me. Hence losing the other possible job, his benefits and I would assume his home as he would have been unable to pay the rent. I feel sorry for his baby son too. So without a doubt, the fundraising company are in fact cunts of the highest order. Which is still no reason to be rude to those who work for it in the street.
I won’t even address that you questioned my standing as a man and then denounced rising to my level, despite ultimately seeming to do so at the end. Grow up.
Mike, you seem to be under the misguided impression that I have an interest in the minutiae of your life and career. I don’t. I could not give two tosses about what claimed experiences you have working for XYZ companies, charities, governments, dictatorships, newsagents or fishmongers, nor do I care about what supposed slights you’ve experienced along the way. And no, this isn’t grist to the mill for your claims that i’m such a disgustingly self-centred human being before you start carping otherwise; rather, its because I have v little respect for you as an individual and have no appetite to try to engage with you about these facets of either yours or my life, so don’t be holding your breath for answers to your questions about me. It’s really none of your business.
And whoopee, you get paid a few shillings to blog here and there across the internet superhighway. You evidently take great satisfaction in letting all and sundry know about it. I’m delighted this provides you with so much self-worth. However, given your unnecessarily antagonistic, arrogant and self-absorbed style, if you really need me to explain to you why your journalistic aspirations appear so far-reaching then that speaks volumes. Good luck getting anywhere with an attitude that it’s acceptable to call anyone who might disagree with you a cunt in print (on which point, your obvious sense of humour failure about my returning this ‘compliment’ to you shows what a tremendous dullard and bore you likely are).
We’ll just have to agree to disagree and leave it there. Hope you manage to find other readers more interested in soothing your ego than I am.
Oh and good luck with the legal action – hopefully you receive enough to buy a plane ticket to somewhere beyond these shores.
Well no one on god’s green earth gives any care or attention to your opinion either. You are officially a troll who feels the need to call out bloggers online, and once apprehended, fails to provide a decent argument and continues to spout out worthless nonsense.
If you disagree, then provide valid points rather than immediately label this garbage and spout out about not respecting someone because they beat you in a flame war. And what’s the matter, does my experience here outweigh your moronic moans like a child who wasn’t given their pocket money? Go back to your dirty little secretarial job and pay your taxes.
You are nothing, you always will be nothing and if you don’t like what I call you in print, then try this. Drink bleach and die!
What are you going to do, sue me? For the sake of humanity, change or just jump in front of a train.
London would be a better place without your kind. Wait, I stand corrected, the world would be.
Stay classy Mike, stay classy.
In the meantime, while you ‘rediscover’ (!) your sense of humour and remove your cranium from the crevice just beneath your perineum, you know, that one which you seem to enjoy conversing out of, I thought you might find this of some interest:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9350619/Chuggers-tricks-revealed-in-investigation.html
I look forward to the commencement of your imminent PR war against the Telegraph!
Oh and before I go, flame war? I really hadn’t given it that much credence, but whatever floats your boat I suppose. Given how much erectile activity your online blogging presence seems to give you it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, but there we are. To paraphrase your terminology though, barely a scorch mark on me, old chap!
Originally I was going to ignore this and let you wallow in your own arrogance. I mean thinking that you have won a flame war before backing down saying you can’t be bothered must really make you feel like a big shot as you miserably stare at the floor on the tube.
Although I replied as, despite finding several national newspapers to report complete garbage, I completely agree.
Private companies who arrange fundraising for charities, I believe are ripping charities off. In fact, when I worked for one, I had massive questions about the tactics they made us use. So no dispute there from me, they should only allow volunteers to raise funds in high streets.
Of course if you had bothered to read my article or comments, which I had dumbed down in language use for an amoeba like yourself, you would see that I had never said that anyone should donate or even support the idea morally. Read that last sentence three more times so that you actually understand. That part is down to personal choice, and after my experience, I would actually refuse to donate via a paid professional fundraiser.
As I have also mentioned so many times that I am actually bored to death, this does not reflect upon the person who is doing the job. They have to work hard and deal with unpleasant life forms like yourself, so the least you can do is refuse politely.
In fact would you please just read my article properly and the comments which follow. Also, the random use of terms, obviously sourced from a thesaurus and not your own diction, fails miserably to give your argument more credibility. Especially as it fails to even fit in with the common day language which you have also used. The impression I get of you, besides being a pathetic troll, is of the typical commuter which I outlined. The one who never quite lived up to everyone’s expectations, stuck in a dead end job, and only finds pleasure in discrediting others. Whether others are people like me who publish articles weekly, or just members of the public.
Whereas me, I’m happy in my job. I also find great satisfaction in the thought that every student that I teach English will take a job from someone pathetic like you. Enjoy that…old chap!
Soapy, although I disagree with you and your attitude, I would like to say thank you for posting that article. I am not allowed to disclose the reason why but that helped me a lot. Thank you :)
Well how sweet. (Though seeing as you’re all about the accuracy and ‘facts’ I didn’t actually post the article, you did. Quite a difference. I would have thought you’d remember writing it?). Delighted my contributions have helped you get some much needed blogosphere exposure and give you something else to spaff off over while contemplating your own self importance.
Forgive me though if I don’t dissolve into a puddle of lachrymose exultation and sweet tidings at your rather bizarre, attempt to extend the olive branch. This kind of schizophrenic shtick, moving from crass base insults and a clarion call for me to self-harm, to a metaphorical handshake and hollow try for something akin to bonhomie, doesn’t really sit well with this reader.
(By the way, some of us don’t need a thesaurus to come up with multi-syllable words, non-colloqualisms or straightforwardly appropriate terms of language. Don’t project your own shortcomings unto others).
You’ll be pleased to hear I’m done with this rather tiresome little exchange and I’ll be replying no more. So have no fear Mike, you can have the last word without fear of response. Go on, run with it, have fun, throw in whatever other “flame war” stylings and character assassinations you care to. Do whatever you need to sustain that rampant ego of yours. Some of us have more important things to worry about, i’m pleased to say! (Though obviously I fully appreciate they bear little relevance or importance compared to your superior position in society and the moral world as a whole.)
I do though want to place on record just how much i’m looking forward to seeing your future journalistic achievements. Which will, i’m sure, be crowned following a week’s work experience at the Ham & High. A behemoth scribe of our ages to come I’m quite sure. Best of luck with that., some might say you’re going to need it (I think here’s where i should probably reciprocate in kind and include one of these :) things, right?).
Bon voyage.
Your stupidity shocks me! If you look back to the previous comment which you left, you did in fact post an article. There is no hope for you if you can’t even take a single compliment and not want to take a dig at it.
As for everything else you have said or done, in general not just here, I’m sure that no one has ever benefited or considered your contribution worthwhile. You are a cynic, and a retarded one at that.
The olive branch? Good luck with that one jack! And if this reader doesn’t like it, who the hell cares anyway? You are one rather unpleasant and lonely specimen who would benefit from either being locked in solitary confinement for fear of polluting the minds of others, or better yet just publicly executed to cleanse humanity of trash like you.
Well off with you then, good riddance and don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.
This is somewhat funny because I am guilty of the same things. I do use the same excuses for things I wish I could directly say “No” to but couldn’t. It’s more polite to say it that way I guess.