The Winged Fare Dodger

It was a cold night. I’d just finished playing football in west London and was waiting impatiently for the underground train at White City to arrive. As it was nearly 10pm, most commuters had long since drudged home and I had the platform all to myself. Well, almost.

A few metres to my left, a pigeon was standing calmly facing the platform opposite. His blank stare suggested he was lost in thought, but I guess pigeons don’t quite have Jim Carrey’s range of facial expressions, so it was hard to tell. Perhaps he was trying to work out the quickest route to Trafalgar Square. Anyway, as the train pulled in I quickly forgot about the pigeon and stepped onto the carriage, taking a seat opposite an exceedingly dull looking middle-aged woman reading one of those Stieg Larsson books.

The train pulled out of the station and I started looking around me for a spare copy of The Evening Standard. I couldn’t see one. I walked towards the end of the carriage, desperate for anything to read. Instead, I saw something that made me laugh out loud, like a kind of crazy lunatic. The pigeon had boarded the train.

He was walking along the floor, nodding his head in the way that only pigeons and people listening to funk music can get away with. I don’t think he was carrying an Oyster card. It may have been tucked under a wing, but I doubt it. No, this was a free ride for the pigeon. Just like humans often take the car when they should really walk, pigeons apparently take the tube when they should really fly. And why not? It had started to rain outside and I’m sure even flying becomes tedious after a while.

At the next stop I got out and moved to the pigeon’s carriage. He was poking his head into a discarded sandwich wrapper. Clearly Shepherd’s Bush was not his final destination, as he stayed on the train as the doors closed with a beep and a clunk. Two more people joined the carriage but barely gave the pigeon a second look. I couldn’t believe it. Was this such a common sight? Apart from someone carrying a dog once, this was the only creature I’d ever seen on the underground. Perhaps this pigeon is a regular on the 22.04 from White City and they see him every day.

I’m pleased to say that the pigeon departed the carriage safely a few stops later. I looked past him onto the platform to see if there was a Mrs Pigeon waiting patiently for him. Sadly not. She was probably starting the car.

Image by Annie Mole courtesy of Flickr