Landing in London

Many things in life are easy: Sunday mornings, spending more money than you’ve got, remembering your own name. However, there is one thing that falsely lays claim to easiness, and that is the tangerine terror of the skies.

At face value, easyJet seems like a brilliant idea. It’s cheap, and… well, that’s about it. The airline is almost bearable when leaving London, but the problem arises on the return flight.

Allow me to set the scene.

Do you remember that glorious heatwave London experienced back in April, when the nation foolishly believed that summer had begun? I don’t – I was abroad that week, in a country famed for its blazing sunshine and lack of rain. In an unfortunate turn of events, I found myself with the rare feeling of wishing I was back in the London weather, away from that suddenly sodden holiday location.

Thus, when I approached the airport to begin my journey home, I was filled with excitement to be back in Blighty. This did not last long.

Quintessentially British (straightforward, no frills, ginger), easyJet’s ethos does not translate. It only works in the UK, the sole place where people are famed for their ability to queue in a courteous, orderly fashion. On return flights, all respect for the first-come-first-served system flies out the 12-inch double-plated windows.

In the Mediterranean country I was in, I don’t think they even have a word for queue. In fact, in order to impose some sense of discipline on the impatient passengers, they moved us through passport control and into the gantry earlier than usual, leaving us to wait there for the aeroplane door to open. This was as close to single file as they could get us. What they need is a good dose of the Wimbledon queue system to show them how it’s done.

As I sat in a dreaded middle seat, regretting my choice of an airline that doesn’t hand out free peanuts, I was comforted by the thought that I had the lovely London landmarks to look forward to during descent. Returning home after a holiday is always a bit depressing, but the bright lights of London’s sights, from Big Ben to the London Eye, typically provide a wonderful welcome.

That is (I should have guessed) unless you fly easyJet. Not willing to compromise on their promise of ‘no frills’, the mile-high misnomer flies to Luton, Stansted and Gatwick airports, the three London airports that don’t require flight over the city, and thus forgoes any glorious London reception.

I suppose it serves me right. I’ll think twice before leaving London next time.

Image by Willow&Monk courtesy of Flickr