The Threat to Our Pub Quiz

Pub quizzes are brilliant. Cold beer, warm chips and an argument with old friends about which group had a Christmas number one in 1994.

It’s difficult to think of a better way to spend a Thursday evening in my book. And you certainly aren’t short of options in London. Within a mile of my house there must be five or six venues to choose from – almost one for every day of the week.

Quizzes make perfect sense for pubs too. They can more than double an evening’s profits just by writing ‘Quiz Tonight’ on the chalkboard outside. And they don’t even need to provide the prize – the punters do that themselves. With everyone paying around £2 each, it can add up to a hefty winning pot of gold coins at the end of the evening.

So what’s the problem? Well, it’s the mobile phone. The mobile has ruined the pub quiz.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not all about the winning. Sometimes it can be worth it simply to hear the team names (take a bow, Quiz Akabusi). But internet-enabled mobiles have wrapped each contest in a Slanket of suspicion.

Why is that guy going to the toilet so often? How could they possibly have known the capital of Azerbaijan?

I’m sure that most teams are playing completely fairly, but the doubts are difficult to shift. And in these post-recession times, perhaps the shame of cheating is outweighed by the promise of some extra cash.

But fear not, fellow quizzers. I have some counter measures to suggest. The most drastic would be to install Heathrow-style security arches at all entrances to the pub. All mobiles could be detected and detained for the duration of the quiz. Or maybe landlords could invest in a localised electromagnetic pulse generator. I’m not sure what the most cost-effective solution is, but something must be done to save this precious city pastime.

(The Christmas number one was by East 17, by the way. But you already knew that, didn’t you? Wikipedia has a lot to answer for).

Image by Annie Mole courtesy of Flickr