Crushing Sense of Loneliness?

With January over, we can all breathe a sigh of relief. We don’t have to pretend to be going to the gym any more. We can stop hiding while we have an illicit cigarette. We can stop pretending to read the Financial Times and go back to burying our heads in the Metro.

But we’re not out of the woods yet. The pressure of New Year’s resolutions may be over, but with February 14 upon us, forgetful men, cheapskates and singletons alike are entered into a brand new hell.

Of course, I mean that Valentine’s Day is here.

Wonderful as it may be for those in a state of loved-up bliss, for people who aren’t joined at the hip to another, being bombarded by frilly pink shop displays as soon as you escape the Underground is just a bit of a piss take. ‘You’re lonely!’ screams that bunch of red roses. ‘You will die unloved and alone!’, that pair of silky boxers.

That, it seems, is not enough. At this time of year, there are certain friends you just have to avoid. We all have them – the couples who call each other ‘schnookums’ in casual conversation at the pub, or smooch noisily in the kitchen when all you want to do is eat some toast without gagging at their sound effects.

Or worse, the housemates that are too loud behind closed doors. The high-pitched moans, or worse, rhythmic grunting, begins and you know you’re in for a long night listening to the Sex Orchestra, led by what sounds like a world class organist.

If only that were the only time you were exposed to hearing their deep love for each other. Being happy just won’t satisfy: the whole world has to know it. All the embarrassing nicknames – I don’t want to know them, Snuggle Bunny – ‘endearing’ habits and bedroom talents become public knowledge.

In the week leading up to Valentine’s, the ‘He said this…’ chitchat becomes less cute, and more of a reminder of the fact that your bed is warmed only by a hot water bottle and your own personal Bunny, the type that doesn’t snuggle you afterwards.

Wading through all that romance, it’s easy to believe that the only love-centred holiday for you is Singles Awareness Day. But with the city’s restaurants, cinemas, galleries and theatres full of once-a-year romantics, how can you truly avoid the worldwide love-in? You can boycott it at an anti-Valentine’s event, try to get over that crushing sense of loneliness by speed dating or curl up in front of the telly with a tub of ice cream and a pile of action movies.

Or you can remember that you’re living a life without the arguments over being late and doing the washing up, that you are your own boss. And you can do as my house mates plan to: go out in the most ridiculous fancy dress, have some drinks and paint the town your own shade of red.

Image by Sister72 courtesy of Flickr