Lighten Up London

I don’t consider myself too old. I’m young and cool. ‘Hip’, isn’t that what you kids call it these days? Hey, I lived through a whole 11 months of the ’80s.

Like most people, I always look forward to the festive season: presents, music, turkey, stuffing – what’s not to love? The thing is though, Christmas just ain’t what it used to be. I’m not talking about the tinsel that sprouts up as soon as the last Easter egg leaves the shops. I’m not even referring to the sabotage of the traditional Christmas number one in the music charts. No, this vendetta is far more serious; it is against London’s Christmas lights.

Very few of life’s thrills can compare to the joy of walking down Oxford Street, bundled up in a fluffy hat and scarf, collecting snowflakes on your eyelashes as you look up at the lights, arm in arm with Dylan McDermott from Miracle on 34th Street* (*optional). Ah, but that was in the good old days, of course.

In this money-driven world, Christmas lights are not purely for decoration, nor are they there to bring light and sparkle into the lives of many. Like so many other aspects of Christmas that have been commercialised, the lights have become a sponsorship opportunity, much to the detriment of London’s beauty and cheerful spirit.

Now instead of roaming the streets of London under twinkling colours and festive images, we poor citizens of this great city are subject to large, tacky images of the latest blockbuster trying to break the box office. This year, it’s the new Narnia film.

Talk about adding insult to injury! Narnia – the place where it always snows but is never Christmas – doesn’t seem like the best theme for festive lights to me.

I fail to see why my Christmas shopping experience, as I stare longingly through bright shop windows while sighing into my empty wallet, should be supervised by Aslan’s large face looking down on me judgmentally. I do not want to be threatened by Susan’s bow and arrow, nor distracted by Edmund’s determined, distant look. I can think of worse things than Ben Barnes’ gaze to keep me warm in the bleak midwinter – but still, that is not the point.

The song tells us to deck the halls with ‘boughs of holly’, not ‘the nows of Hollywood’. These newfangled themed lights are not what should be adorning our streets. Bring back the old Crimbo twinklers!

Image by Mister-E courtesy of Flickr