La Soiree at the South Bank Big Top

While my crippling fear of clowns has too often kept me from entering a Big Top, my research into La Soiree – the latest production from La Clique taking place on the South Bank – assured me there were no clowns lurking behind the scenes here.

Instead, La Soiree presents an evening of magic, burlesque, cabaret and sideshow acts, riling its audience into a frenzy as La Clique fling, flash and fellate their way around the exquisitely decorated Magic Mirrors Big Top as we are transported to the turn-of-the-century circus. Only with more glitter. And more drag queens. And more (near) nudity. All things I believe work in La Soiree’s favour.

La Soiree works on a rotation of performers from La Clique, making sure each performance is unique. Tonight’s show began with Captain Frodo lunging into the arena in his eye-wateringly short shorts, before we were treated to perhaps the most biological view of male anatomy I have ever seen, upon the revelation that he was indeed a rather talented contortionist.  His loveable stage presence, and endless supply of confetti miraculously held in the pockets of aforementioned short shorts, detracted from the fact that this freakish man is essentially defying the laws of nature by dislocating and manipulating each limb through a tennis racket.

Following with equal gusto and enthusiastic facial expressions was Marawa, whose energetic hula hoop routine made any hula hooping attempts I made as a child look more akin to a spasmodic whale caught in a net, rather than the wonderful blur of colour Marawa created on stage.

La Clique favourites The English Gents appeared suited and booted, Financial Times under arm, before launching into a series of spectacular muscle quivering positions before stripping off their three-piece suits to reveal some rather patriotic pants. Sadly my morning commute has become even more tedious after the realisation that such behaviour from city bankers are by no means standard on Bishopsgate but is perhaps something that should be raised at the next board meeting. As should male pole dancing. An act – nay, sport – so often left to the ladies to entertain questionable men in clubs favouring ’80s classics, is reinvigorated as one half of the English Gents demonstrates pole dancing is in fact a feat of incredible athleticism.

As changeable as the elaborate costumes of the performers, my affections were soon deflected to the brooding David O’Mer, the denim-clad Adonis who invited us to share his bath time complete with harness above the tub. And yes, it is exactly as it sounds. The constant whoops and applause that had thus far provided the evening’s soundtrack were now replaced by the stifled whimpers of women (and some men) as David splished and splashed his way through a breathtaking gymnastic routine to the sultry sounds of a song, whose title has been pushed out of my mind by the memory of a conveniently placed rubber duck. If only sharing a bathroom with boys was this much fun in real life.

Punctuate each of these acts with the rose stalk tongue-piercing, table leg deep-throating, PVC-clad Miss Behave and you have got all the ingredients for a truly memorable show. La Soiree’s merry band of marauders and delinquents may change with each performance but judging by the talent and enthusiasm of this evening’s performers, whoever is called into the ring is almost certainly going to leave you suitably repulsed yet disconcertingly aroused. Just maybe cross your fingers for Mr O’Mer…

La Soiree is showing until January 31, 2011, at:

South Bank Big Top
Behind the National Theatre
South Bank SE1

Tel: 020 7907 7080