Being a London Tourist

When you first move to London from a far away place, like up north for example, you half expect your friends to be slightly worried. I mean if the things you read in the newpapers are true, awful things happen in London. Rapes, murders, burglaries and god knows what else.

However, rather than be concerned, most friends find the move very convenient for them. For when they visit they get a room, free of charge, in the capital.

There might not be any tiny soaps in the bathroom. Or tiny chocolates on the pillow. Or free bathrobes to be stolen…but there is a room which will always be free to use whenever it is needed, and it is always nice to call upon an old friend from up norf.

At first, your friends pretend they want to see you.

‘Oooh I haven’t seen you for AGES,’ they’ll say. And you think,`Well, I have a lot of work to do and many a social event to attend.’ But still, at the sincerity of their tone you’ll say, ‘You’re right, it’s been faaaar too long, it would be lovely to see you. Come down!’

You then think you can fit your life around their visit, nothing has to change, you don’t need to act as entertainer for the weekend. How very wrong that thought is.

‘I can’t watch television at home, we’re in London! There are so many things to do and see! And lots of it’s free…I was reading on the internet that the Tate has this really good exhibition on…’

So you slap on your best tourist face…the very one you scowl at on the tube every Monday morning in rush hour. How calm these tourists are among the wave of angry commuters desperately trying to make everyone else’s morning that little bit worse.

And this is how my time in London has been spent. A friend who had disappeared, someone you would have probably have given up on in any other given circumstance, decided they would just love to see you and you oblige. Against your otherwise negative thoughts you have no choice but to put them up for the weekend. And sometimes, just sometimes, you might secretly enjoy being a tourist for a few days. You may begin to see London differently and, heaven forbid, it might actually be quite fun.

Come to think of it, I have a very good friend in Bournemouth who is well overdue a visit…

Image courtesy of Colin Gregory Palmer