British Soap Awards 2010

‘Ooooh that’s nice’. I did a double take and dragged my faithful shopping companion, Kate, back to the charity shop window. It took a couple of seconds to realise that Kate was looking at me in abject horror.

‘It’s pink…’ she clarified, speaking slowly as if I was a bit simple. ‘Pink and glittery.’

I know.’ I responded sulkily. ‘I like it.’

To explain the temporary but total demise of my fashion sense, let me rewind to Saturday night, ITV studios, approximately 1am. I was sprawled across what can only be described as a diamante couch, drinking a questionable pink cocktail and admiring a photo taken on my phone of me dancing with Calvin from Hollyoaks. Beside me was a pile of signs I had decided, for some unidentifiable reason, to steal from the toilets.

In the past, I may have rather unkindly dubbed the British Soap Awards: ‘the night that fashion forgot’. It’s the anti-Oscars, a celebration of all that glitters, but is definitely not gold. A high shine, uber-glossed, unashamedly camp celebration of bubbles, both on screen and in-glass.

But the most surprising thing about my night behind the diamante doors? I’m a certified soapstar fashion convert. London has a habit of taking itself a bit seriously sometimes. All these members clubs, overpriced shopping destinations and sky-high rent charges make us secretly long for a fluffy little cloud of light relief. Add a sprinkle of recession and redundancy to the mix, and I have a sneaking suspicion that the Soapstar’s fashion moment has finally arrived.

Over the years, fashion has done it’s best to juxtapose the mood of the nation. When times are smooth it’s all clean lines, muted colours and classic styles. As the stock markets crash, fashion holds its resplendent head high, loaded with glitter, feathers and the most eye-popping colours imaginable.

At the height of the recession last year, lipstick sales were at an all time high. Now, as we shop with caution and vainly try to give up our credit card habit, I say screw the classics, it’s time to embrace the soapstar within.

To help you along, I have compiled a brief guide to soapstar style. And before you start scouring Islington’s charity shops, I’ve already bought the pink glittery thing.

Rule no. 1: Show everything. Remember that rule your mum taught you about flashing either your cleavage or your legs? Incorrect. Showing your underwear is also good.

Rule no. 2: Glitter is not just for your eyelids. Try it in your hair, on your shoes and in your lipstick.

Rule no. 3: Colours should be jewel bright and matchy-matchy.

Rule no. 4: No heels are too high. If you can balance upright for more than 2 seconds, you’re good to go.

Rule no. 5: Accessorise with a glass of wine and a ton of lipgloss, let your hair down and dance to that song. You know, the one that’s the reason you never put your iPod on shuffle in public.

The British Soap Awards will be broadcast on ITV1 tonight. Warning: may cause temporary fashion blindness. Shop with caution.