Bowling With the Kids on Queensway

The entrance to the building is one of appropriate grandeur (massive plastic bowling pins) and panache (neon lights everywhere). A quick descent down a staircase later, my friends and I find ourselves in a sparkly tenth-birthday-party heaven. Seconds later, the full horror of the situation dawns on us: we decided to go to a bowling alley on a Sunday.

Queens Ice Bowl, between Queensway and Bayswater tube stations, is an interesting combination of a bowling alley and an ice skating rink. This is a bit like a PBJ sandwich: sure, you can have just one or the other, but isn’t it so much better when you can have both? In fact, the analogy actually falls short, because Queens Ice also offers a variety of arcade games, karaoke, food and even a bar (slash waiting area, where we would have waited for an hour and a half for a lane if we hadn’t decided to go to a child-free pub down the road).

The place definitely falls under the definition of ‘budget,’ at least by London standards. Bowling is only £6.50 per person for a game, and Monday night deals are even cheaper. Generous portions of delicious nutrient-free food are served at amazingly low prices: a burger with chips and a drink will only set you back £4.50. A bar, complete with alcoholic beverages and comfy sofa seats, is tucked away in the corner, although affecting your hand-to-eye coordination in a place where you hand-to-eye coordinate heavy spherical objects is probably not advisable.

The bowling alley itself is fantastically gauche. Everything is neon, glowing under UV, sparkly and shiny. However, this may be a tactic to divert your attention from the fact that the place was probably built sometime in the ’80s. Upon closer examination, the bowling balls look like the kind of stuff you find in your late grandfather’s attic and throw away because it smells funny. Aside from the Sunday-sized waiting time, this is really the only downfall. Bowling alleys, like casinos or bars, are somewhere you go for the sparkle and polished surfaces; creaking chairs and peeling button labels tend to dampen the glitzy effect.

A table-full of young kids are politely eating chocolate cake on the other side of the room. Time goes by quickly as we finish our game, and we’re all a bit quieter than we were all evening. Maybe there is something a bit depressing about the artificial glamour of this place, like Britney’s 2007 performance at the VMAs. The kids seem happy though, and the secret hypochondriacs are enjoying the non-compulsory renting of the bowling shoes.

This is certainly not the place to take a Chanel-smelling girl on a first date, but if you’re skint and fancy something a bit livelier than a pub or sitting at home with your Wii, then the Queens Ice Bowl is an okay compromise. After all, it’s the PBJ of venues.

Queens Ice Bowl
17 Queensway
Bayswater
W2 4QP

Tel: 020 7229 0172
www.queensiceandbowl.co.uk

Open 10am – 11.30pm,  7 days a week