The Trends Best Left in 2013

It’s been quite a year. Big things have happened. But the things I have in mind are of a sartorial nature. And many are definitely best left in 2013.

The first was easy to pick and I feel somewhat embarrassed to use the terminology associated with these ridiculous creations. Yes, I’m referring to flatforms. What else has a chunky sole and no allure whatsoever? I’m encompassing a range of horrors here; creepers, lace ups, ballet flats. A number of styles that were perfectly fine before having a huge wedge of rubber attached. Not chic.

Next let’s move to the torso where we’ve been seeing an awful lot of woodland animals on sweatshirts. It was cute for six weeks (we’re only human after all) but now whenever I see a bear or deer on an oversized piece of ‘ironic’ sportswear I die a little inside. Let’s lay them to rest (in a humane manner, of course).

From the torso to the crotch (apologies). Or should I say, the area below the crotch where the low hanging folds of the drop crotch trouser gently swing. The most impossible silhouette to balance, but balance we tried. Vest tops, cropped jumpers, canvas flats. All only serving to make the garment more ungainly, the exercise ultimately proving that this much excess fabric between the legs should really be banned, at least within the confines of the UK.

Unbecoming as they may be, at least these harem atrocities have the fault of too much fabric as opposed to too little. Take crop tops (if we must). Teen belly buttons parading the high streets with smutty slogans and graphic leggings. I blame Little Mix. Paired with hi-tops and bum bags the appalling picture is complete. Let’s leave a little more to the imagination  in 2014.

Next up is something a little more dressy. Or skirty, depending which way you’re inclined. Peplums seemed like such a good idea, particularly when we saw them on Cheryl Cole looking all bright and shiny. In reality, they’re just a cheap silhouette all jazzed up. I myself fell under the spell and purchased a black skirt which never made it out of the house. A great blessing. Let’s stick with sleek and simple shapes in the new year.

Quite a collection of dubious garments, I think you’ll agree. Doubtless 2014 will bring its own challenges in the wardrobe department. Happy New Year from The London Word!