There are many ways to embarrass yourself while striving to attain fitness goals. Anything involving a harness is a good start. But there are few as fun as the trial and error involved in rolling skating.
I spent a great deal of my childhood on inline skates. They became a sort of appendage during my teenage years. This often left me with a slight limp, but a slight swagger when it comes to life on wheels.
The first time I slipped on roller skates was, therefore, fairly humbling. It’s not the same. Throw some ill advised dance moves into the equation and the limp was back in full force. The swagger was not.
All summer long, Skate King’s Cross has been providing a forgiving, monochrome-stripped floor for our backsides as we’ve attempted to master this tricky four-wheeled art. Sadly this weekend is their last. But they are not going quietly.
On Thursday Jonny Woo and Johnny Sizzle, the queens of cabaret, are dropping by for a night of reduced rate tail-shaking. Skate hire will be down to just £9. Be warned, the enthusiasm they bring to their performances may well breed some serious over confidence.
Luckily for any novices out there Skate will be bringing in the dizzying talents of The Stratford Collective on Friday and Saturday to show us all how it’s done. Following Friday’s exhibition there’ll be an opportunity to put the instruction into practice when Danse Club records take up residence for a night of classic ’90s house.
I’ve given copious warning, but in truth once you get the hang of the motion it’s amazing how quickly skating becomes second nature. It’s around this time that you realise just how strenuous this all is.
The good thing about falling over every six strides is that you’re unlikely to work up a sweat. Ten laps of competent skating later (bumping and grinding included) and that is no longer the case. The most noticeable thing about learning a new physical skill is the muscles you discover, some of which you had no knowledge of existing. Sometimes it’s easy to forget to stretch off when exercise is this fun. You can minimise these discoveries by taking a second to do so when coming off the dance floor.
On Saturday there’ll be an opportunity to truly hone your skills for a final time with a free skate session from 12pm-12am. From 8pm onwards it will be over 18s only as Roller Disco starts up for one last blow out. Hyena Stomp and The Lovely Jonjo will be teaming up to send Skate off in true style with a four-hour long dance session.
Sitting out under the outdoor canopy as the night winds up, you may be very grateful for the cooling temperatures.
Skate King’s Cross
West Handyside Canopy
(Off Handy Street or Granary Square)
Tel: 07743 749 315