This is getting ridiculous. When we were younger Christmas was at ‘Christmastime’. Decorations excitedly went up at the start of the month, there were Argos lists (catalogue number, page number, price) and invariably it snowed. That was acceptable, fun and absolutely appropriate.
Last Saturday night, after a few fruity numbers, I spotted what I think was a Christmas tree in the centre of the bar. It’s not even hiding shamefully in the corner. The star is nestled on top looking proud, and it’s adorned with crappy paper decorations entwined with cheap fairy lights – a clear fire hazard. I naturally do a double-take, concerned that the cinnamon syrup in my cocktail is producing premature festive hallucinations. Not a chance. Although two weeks ago I was sunning myself in Greenwich Park, I must accept that winter is here and autumn doesn’t actually exist anymore.
No one else in the bar seems to 1) notice or 2) be bothered. I’m alone in my disgust. This perverse green piece of plastic has offended me more than a stranger sloshing red wine over my new cream coat.
We go to another bar, there is a Christmas menu and a reservation form slotted neatly between the salt and pepper. I consider standing on the table, tearing it up and incensing the whole place to ‘lay down their mojitos and revolt’. I do my food shop the next day and there’s a unwarrented display of ‘special edition’ tins of celebrations…. You see the pattern.
I’d hate to come across as a deranged anti-consumerist, but seriously, what the hell! Between global warming and colliding commercial schedules, SAD sufferers don’t know whether they’re here nor there.
I then think back to the menu in the bar, worried that I may miss the boat again like last year when our work Christmas had to be postponed until January because someone ‘under-estimated’ just how fast the Christmas rush would be.
Everyone is so fraught with panic and pained with its longevity that by the time the big day arrives it’s such an anti-climax and we’d all rather stay in bed and eat anything but turkey. This madness is taking the magic, excitement and energy out of the only thing to keep us going through the dark mornings, lack of daylight hours and permeating cold.
And they wonder why suicide rates go up in the festive season.
Photo by seelensturm courtesy of Flickr