Wi-Fi on the Tube

There is Wi-Fi on the tube now. Great, because there weren’t enough places already for me to check my email!

The tube was the one place where I could get some peace. The one place where I could be rid of the distractions of technology and focus instead on being squashed in-between two obese and odourly-challenged gentlemen.

It’s bad enough being crushed up against the train doors by two giants, but try dealing with it when you’re also attempting to update your Facebook status.

Wi-Fi: Why have they done it? What are they trying to prove? I’ve read the original planning documents for the London Underground System, published in 1862, and I see nothing about wireless internet. What gives them the right?

Apparently Richard Branson is to blame. Virgin are giving us an internet connection. I’d rather have their trains, then maybe we’d be able to get from St Pauls to Chancery Lane without a two hour signal failure.

My addiction isn’t the main problem. The issue is, other people! Don’t you just hate how other people are always on their phones? What are people going to tweet about from under ground?

‘That Daniel Johnson guy has just thrown five people’s phones down the gap at Bank Station!’

‘We just saw some crazy guy hitting people for using Facebook!!?’

Have you ever seen the person next to you using Facebook? It’s infuriating! They just scroll up and down like zombies, liking pictures of their old school friend’s dogs. Is that what life is about? Is this the best we can do with our train journeys?

I know I’m hypocritical. I am being hateful towards the internet generation that I’m a part of. It took me about nine days to write this article because I’ve been obsessing over ‘Words with Friends’ and a text to a girl who’s been ignoring me for three weeks. My phone is evil.

I am desperate to find a place that has NO INTERNET. What choices do I have left? Isolation in a prison, or a deep coffin. This is not good. If you see me on the underground, please take my phone away from me, and keep yours out of sight.

Image by _dChris courtesy of Flickr



You may also like

Tube Etiquette
Sartorial Limbo
Health on the Tube
‘Your Newspaper Is Rubbish’

1 Response

  1. Chris

    This is a deeply stupid bit of writing. If you don’t like the idea of using your phone on the underground, then please by all means leave it in your pocket. Do not try to hold back the advances of technology because of a personal vendetta against Facebook users.

Reader Comments