Amsterdam – Up in Smoke
Maybe I’m looking at it through smoke tinted glasses, but Amsterdam used to be a bohemian paradise. Artists, writers, and musicians would gather under the warm green glow of the coffeeshop lights to discuss ideas and watch the world go by.
The city is very pretty, with glittering canals, cobbled streets with townhouses, and a floating flower market. Everyone ambles around on a bike, and there are some fantastic museums.
Despite all its charms, the main pull of the city for young people is weed. In Amsterdam, every coffeeshop will present patrons with a marijuana menu, complete with notes on strength and taste. London stoners instantly become connoisseurs of the (let’s face it, pretty inoffensive) crop.
Sadly, the smoking ban has made the whole experience more complicated. As have crackdowns on establishments selling booze as well as hash. Dodging the stag dos while picking through the droves of tourists to find a reasonably priced establishment is a chore in itself.
Once inside a famous coffeeshop, the main things now on offer are ready-rolled spliffs laced with ‘legal tobacco’. If you’ve ever tried to quit smoking, you may have come across this horrible substance. Weirdly fragrant and resembling moss, it has usurped tobacco thanks to the ban.
Tourists flock to the city for the thrill of sparking up in public (although woe betide anyone who attempts to smoke it on the street). On the weekend you can barely move for ‘totally wasted’ American teens and inebriated Brits shopping for a sexual encounter.
Most of the good hostels are in or around the notorious Red Light District. Plastered in the famed XXX signage and with girls dancing around in their underwear like possessed mannequins in the windows of Ann Summers; this is Disneyland for the sexually curious.
Over the years, the area has somehow managed to become over-policed, with security guards and the local patrol keeping a close eye on revellers. The dodgy dealers have had to become more covert, so the place is less intimidating, but the peacekeepers can sometimes be a little overzealous. A friend of mine tried to take a picture of his mates walking along one of these roads, only to be chased by an irate doorman who thought he was taking snaps of his girls.
With all this going on, it’s no wonder the Dutch are beginning to get a bit miffed. Their answer? A total ban on tourists in coffeeshops, which is making it’s way through the southern provinces next year. If successful, it’s due to hit Amsterdam in 2013. So go now, or forever hold your peace pipe.
Fly from London to Amsterdam from £29.
Next week: Can walking boots be sexy in the city?
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