Caroline Charles’ Fashion Week Colour Parade

Caroline Charles knows how to put on a good show. Opting for a live band instead of a banging soundtrack was a great way to enhance the quality of her collection at London Fashion Week. Though, when the band was announced it wasn’t clear if we were told ‘to clap’ or if the band were called The Clap. Either way I thought it best to avoid my usual behavior and try not to get backstage to bone the cellist.

Kitted-out in some nice swimsuits the models grouped at the opening end of the catwalk feigning conversation like a cluster of attractive ‘50s housewives at a pool party. The live jazzy music fitted the scene perfectly and it was probably the best conversation those models had ever had; even though they were most likely just mouthing ‘rhubarb’ and smiling.

The playful interaction continued throughout the show as the models acknowledged each other along the catwalk, crossing paths mid-walk. One particularly gorgeous specimen filmed the paparazzi on a handheld camera whilst she walked, turning the camera on the press and putting a rare smile on the concrete camera monolith. This playfulness definitely did more for the clothes than the traditional sour-faced stalking.

The bikinis themselves were like safari disco-wear: lots of bright orange, pink and yellow animal print. Unfortunately they were a bit cheap looking. If I was a fashion mogul my coin toss would always land on the side of real fur; spray painting the animal, making it dance for money and then skinning it in the name of fashion. That would definitely have looked better.

After the big flesh and colour parade it all went a bit Working 9 to 5 on acid. More bright colours but this time it was ‘look at me’ officewear, mini-shorts and suit jackets worn unbuttoned over bras; office attire for horny anorexics basically. Can’t wait to see Evans pull off their own version for size 18+ women.

My fashion companion particularly liked Charles’ line of dresses, and I must admit they were pretty; the kind of stuff you could see making an easy transition from robotic model to ordinary girl.